Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Caskets and Scooters

In downtown Cincinnati there is this little casket shop that sells scooters. Yes, I said caskets and scooters in the same sentence. I found it extremely ironic! After much thought, I have finally figured this out. In the year 2000, there were 40,500 emergency injuries related to scooters. My thoughts are this...
"Once upon a time, in the urban area of Cincinnati, there lived a young, single man- his name was Joe. He enjoyed his urban life a lot. He loved walking through the town and seeing the sights. He especially loved people watching. On one of these glorious people watching occasions he saw a sight that would change his young life as he knew it.
On a rather clear Tuesday morning this is what Joe saw:
Speeding down the road on his baby blue Vespa was a metro-sexual male flamboyantly dressed in Gap and J. Crew clothing. He raced along a little carelessly not noticing the large metro bus about to stop in front of him. The bus rapidly applied its brakes, as all bus drivers seem to do, and the little Vespa, riding, metro-guy smashed into the back of the bus. The little man careened through the air with his baby blue Vespa close behind. The metro-sexual man, screaming in pain, then landed on a nearby car. Emergency services were called immediately as bystanders watched. Joe quickly came up with a brilliant idea. With the way things were looking, he thought for sure the flamboyantly dressed man had a chance of death. Seeing how well the little Vespa maneuvered in town, it is a pretty brilliant means of transportation. What if, the same person who sold the Vespa also sold the casket that would be needed for when the person was killed on the little metro-sexual male killer.
Immediately Joe sought a building to house his Vespa and casket selling shop. He finally found a quaint little place on Main St. in downtown Cincinnati, Oh. His excitement grew to un-proportional amounts as everything began to come together. His caskets would be delivered on Monday and then the Vespa's would be delivered on Thursday. It was going to be an exciting time in Joe's life. After all of the products were delivered Joe opened his shop. His first sale was this: 'Buy a new Vespa and get your casket half-off!'"

And that is the story behind the casket and Vespa shop.

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